Quote: "My biggest fear is to make people who look up to me feel disappointed, and vice versa." - AC
I knew it. Everyone should have responded in the same way. "Why did you not go to work again?" The best part then comes, "Can you be more committed to your work?" The disappointment and frustration is so apparent that I wished I lied. But I can never lie, I am never good a telling lies.
Imagine if that comes from my mum. That would be so damn bad. Parents always look up to their children, they put their hope in them. They provide them with the best education they can afford, helping them to sort out their academic and career future when they are lost. And when it is really necessary, give them financial support when they cannot stand on their own. Some even go to great lengths to borrow money just to make their children's life be more comfortable.
This is what people call "spoiling the children". I have to admit that I am in some way spoilt. 'Hardship' never existed in my vocabulary. My boat of life always seem to be smooth sailing. Even when it meets strong waves, it always seem to be able to miraculously escape largely unharmed. Perhaps I took life too easily and always take things for granted.
Someone commented that I am childish. I have to admit that. Not only am I childish, I am naive and act on impulse too. Because of my childishness, I have broken the hopes and hearts of many people. And I can foresee many broken hopes and hearts to come.
I used to be a person that lots of junior look up to. I used to be the standard that people seek to beat. I used to be something 'great'. Yeah right. Perhaps it is time I have to be humble and admit that I am not so 'great' after all. I have lost the sharpness in dealing with things, I have lost the ability to be on top of the game. I have lost my confidence and my self-esteem. I have lost it.
Something went wrong somewhere. I lost interest in competition. I used to like to compete and become the best in whatever I am involved in. I like to win. I MUST WIN. Once I tasted defeat, I lost interest in things. And never got back on track after that. Call me a SORE LOSER. I sure am one. My competitive self is crying for help, I need to get back on track and begin to win again. I have to regain that winning feeling.
I am all talk and no action. I know what to do but the doing part is never put into action. I am completely hopeless, besides being useless. I just wish that someone would come up to me and say that my existence is of some use to them and raised their hope. What is wrong with me?
Complaints, complaints and complaints. I am getting better at this time after time. If one knows me well enough, they will soon realise I am always complaining about the same thing, yet not making any effort to improve the situation. I am stuck in the loop. I knew I am in the loop, cursing the loop, yet I do not realise that I just need to step out of the loop and the picture will be clearer. Perhaps I am a blind mice after all.
One word best sums these all up, read the title.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
MLTR - 25 Minutes Lyrics
After some time I’ve finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I’m searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I’m sorry ’bout the things I’ve done
I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s crying while she’s saying this
Chorus:
Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry you are
Twenty five minutes too late
Against the wind I’m going home again
Wishing be back to the time when we were more than
Friends
Still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s cried while she’s saying this
Chorus
Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said
I can still hear what she said
Too lazy to blog today, so just simply putting this up =)
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I’m searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I’m sorry ’bout the things I’ve done
I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s crying while she’s saying this
Chorus:
Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry you are
Twenty five minutes too late
Against the wind I’m going home again
Wishing be back to the time when we were more than
Friends
Still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s cried while she’s saying this
Chorus
Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said
I can still hear what she said
Too lazy to blog today, so just simply putting this up =)
Monday, November 21, 2005
Love What You Choose
She thought that was the end.
She has chosen to return to her boyfriend, who has been waiting so faithfully for her. She has forgotten and has forgiven all his misbehaviour towards her. All she knows is that he loves her so much that she will never be able to find another one like him.
She tried to move on yet the feeling is still lingering.
Her life began to change when this guy popped up from nowhere. He did not sweep her off her feet, he just simply became her friend and things developed from there. He used to listen to all her complaints about her boyfriend, always trying to justify and clarify for the actions of the boyfriend. She appreciated him a lot as a friend, and as a soulmate. He never thought he would fall for her, neither did she. Until the day the boyfriend mistreated her badly. She tried to ask for his help but he never answered. Blame it to bad timing.
Nothing happened from there. All he did was to be the supportive pillar for her to recover from the wounds she has mentally sufferred. No one knows how it happened, but he unknowingly fell for her. Perhaps he knew her well enough to tell that she was the person he wanted to be with. She was attracted by him too. Yet her boyfriend would not let go.
He knew he could not commit to her, he had a girlfriend. He tried to cool things off by pushing his girlfriend to stay close to him, eventually he failed. He finally decided to leave his girlfriend. The same day came the news that she will give her boyfriend another chance. Blame that to bad timing.
Things did not end there.
When he thought hope was all but over, he started to see other girls. He tried to move away from her. Yet he never knew she was waiting for him, hoping that he would put in some effort to show that he wanted to be with her. But all she had was disappointment. She never told him that she was waiting until she decided not to wait anymore.
She decided to go back to her boyfriend, and so she did.
She has made a choice, and she has to live with it.
Love what you choose dear.
She has chosen to return to her boyfriend, who has been waiting so faithfully for her. She has forgotten and has forgiven all his misbehaviour towards her. All she knows is that he loves her so much that she will never be able to find another one like him.
She tried to move on yet the feeling is still lingering.
Her life began to change when this guy popped up from nowhere. He did not sweep her off her feet, he just simply became her friend and things developed from there. He used to listen to all her complaints about her boyfriend, always trying to justify and clarify for the actions of the boyfriend. She appreciated him a lot as a friend, and as a soulmate. He never thought he would fall for her, neither did she. Until the day the boyfriend mistreated her badly. She tried to ask for his help but he never answered. Blame it to bad timing.
Nothing happened from there. All he did was to be the supportive pillar for her to recover from the wounds she has mentally sufferred. No one knows how it happened, but he unknowingly fell for her. Perhaps he knew her well enough to tell that she was the person he wanted to be with. She was attracted by him too. Yet her boyfriend would not let go.
He knew he could not commit to her, he had a girlfriend. He tried to cool things off by pushing his girlfriend to stay close to him, eventually he failed. He finally decided to leave his girlfriend. The same day came the news that she will give her boyfriend another chance. Blame that to bad timing.
Things did not end there.
When he thought hope was all but over, he started to see other girls. He tried to move away from her. Yet he never knew she was waiting for him, hoping that he would put in some effort to show that he wanted to be with her. But all she had was disappointment. She never told him that she was waiting until she decided not to wait anymore.
She decided to go back to her boyfriend, and so she did.
She has made a choice, and she has to live with it.
Love what you choose dear.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Blogthings Quizzes
| Your Heart Is Blue |
 Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty |
| You're a Shy Kisser |
 You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out But you've got plenty of intensity in return |
| Your Seduction Style: Au Natural |
 You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 Your mind is an incubator for good ideas, it just takes a while for them to develop. But when you think of something, watch out! Your thoughts tend to be huge, and they come on quickly - like an explosion. You tend to be quiet around others, unless you're inspired by your next big idea. |
| Slow and Steady |
 Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. |
| You Are Not Scary |
 Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet? |
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I Had A Dream
I overslept and was late for work because of this dream I had. I did not want to wake up. I was unwilling to return to reality not because this dream was so good, but it was a bad dream that I hoped something good would turn up in the end, and it did not come. While I blog this entry, I am still looking for the positives from this dream I had. It all started like this.
I found myself in a singing competition, with the number 5 pinning on my shirt. I love singing and I have always believed that I can sing well. I never have doubt in my ability to sing.
There I was, standing in line with all the other contestants, waiting for our turn to show the audience and judges our best vocal we can squeeze out of ourselves. Only then I realized that everyone has prepared a song and I had no idea what I was going to sing. I began to feel uneasy. I started to look for songs that I could borrow from other contestants, but to no avail. Before long, everyone in the line was looking at me, and the round badge bearing the number 5 buttoned on my suit caught their eyes. It was my turn.
I went on stage, and trying to act cool, asked the band to play their favourite Jacky Cheung song. I have always loved his songs, and I was so confident that I knew all of his songs. The song they chose, I knew the tune, but not the lyrics. I was lucky enough to manage to get hold of the lyrics before the music began.
I started to sing but the words that came out of my mouth were not right, and I was out of sync with the music. I tried so hard to synchronize myself and when I did I went out of tune. After a couple of verses, I finally managed to get into the song but this was when my throat started to feel funny. My throat just refused to make any voice, and it felt so dry that I could barely vibrate my vocal cords. I had to admit defeat for I could not further make a fool out of myself. Gracefully, I muttered the word “Thank You” into the microphone and bowed out.
I put up a strong smiling face when leaving the stage, trying my utmost best to cover all my disappointments and sadness. I wished for a dramatic turnaround in events, but it never happened.
Not even in my dreams.
Now it makes me wonder, was it just a nightmare or was it a premonition?
Only my dream-maker knows.
I found myself in a singing competition, with the number 5 pinning on my shirt. I love singing and I have always believed that I can sing well. I never have doubt in my ability to sing.
There I was, standing in line with all the other contestants, waiting for our turn to show the audience and judges our best vocal we can squeeze out of ourselves. Only then I realized that everyone has prepared a song and I had no idea what I was going to sing. I began to feel uneasy. I started to look for songs that I could borrow from other contestants, but to no avail. Before long, everyone in the line was looking at me, and the round badge bearing the number 5 buttoned on my suit caught their eyes. It was my turn.
I went on stage, and trying to act cool, asked the band to play their favourite Jacky Cheung song. I have always loved his songs, and I was so confident that I knew all of his songs. The song they chose, I knew the tune, but not the lyrics. I was lucky enough to manage to get hold of the lyrics before the music began.
I started to sing but the words that came out of my mouth were not right, and I was out of sync with the music. I tried so hard to synchronize myself and when I did I went out of tune. After a couple of verses, I finally managed to get into the song but this was when my throat started to feel funny. My throat just refused to make any voice, and it felt so dry that I could barely vibrate my vocal cords. I had to admit defeat for I could not further make a fool out of myself. Gracefully, I muttered the word “Thank You” into the microphone and bowed out.
I put up a strong smiling face when leaving the stage, trying my utmost best to cover all my disappointments and sadness. I wished for a dramatic turnaround in events, but it never happened.
Not even in my dreams.
Now it makes me wonder, was it just a nightmare or was it a premonition?
Only my dream-maker knows.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Yesternight, I wept while I slept
When night falls
I can see my shadow on the wall
Which seems so tall
Yet it is just an illusion that people call
The room is so dark
So quiet that I can hear the distant dogs bark
I have never believed in luck
But I need some to make my mark
I thought I was able to have a sweet dream
Yet my rolling tears turned into a stream
I could not help it but to let out a silent scream
And I know it takes two to make a team
Why am I sufferring from this helplessness
Because of my selfishness
Because of my carelessness
And because of my undecidedness
I can see my shadow on the wall
Which seems so tall
Yet it is just an illusion that people call
The room is so dark
So quiet that I can hear the distant dogs bark
I have never believed in luck
But I need some to make my mark
I thought I was able to have a sweet dream
Yet my rolling tears turned into a stream
I could not help it but to let out a silent scream
And I know it takes two to make a team
Why am I sufferring from this helplessness
Because of my selfishness
Because of my carelessness
And because of my undecidedness
Interesting 'Hidden' Talent
| Your Hidden Talent |
 You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think! |
Thursday, November 10, 2005
It's been a while
My last entry was almost a month ago. And it was an unfinished entry. No plans to finish it yet (or ever?) as the memory has been less vivid as the days passed by.
A lot of things have happened over the past month. Several trips to KT to setup the language lab and also provide training was enough to keep me away from contributing to the blog.
Last week was supposed to be a celebrative period for Indians and Muslims as it was their 'new year' celebration, both Deepavali and Hari Raya. To me, it was a mournful week. My grandpa has passed away at 1:30am on 1st November. The only positive thing to take out of his passing is him being released from the sufferring he had to bear over the past few months.
This is my third entry mourning people's entry to afterlife. This time I have been involved in the whole process. I will never forget that the last few days of his life, the family was beside him, watching his breathing getting weaker and weaker, and eventually stopped. It is still quite painful for me to write anything that happened between the time he has just passed away until he was cremated. This experience will forever be kept in my memory. Sorry for not being able to share with you all. I hope you will understand.
At least something good seems to have happened over the period. But then the situation is still on a very rocky situation. My stupid emotions and physical condition do not seem to help at all. Hope it all turns well. Till I have the chance to pop that question.
A lot of things have happened over the past month. Several trips to KT to setup the language lab and also provide training was enough to keep me away from contributing to the blog.
Last week was supposed to be a celebrative period for Indians and Muslims as it was their 'new year' celebration, both Deepavali and Hari Raya. To me, it was a mournful week. My grandpa has passed away at 1:30am on 1st November. The only positive thing to take out of his passing is him being released from the sufferring he had to bear over the past few months.
This is my third entry mourning people's entry to afterlife. This time I have been involved in the whole process. I will never forget that the last few days of his life, the family was beside him, watching his breathing getting weaker and weaker, and eventually stopped. It is still quite painful for me to write anything that happened between the time he has just passed away until he was cremated. This experience will forever be kept in my memory. Sorry for not being able to share with you all. I hope you will understand.
At least something good seems to have happened over the period. But then the situation is still on a very rocky situation. My stupid emotions and physical condition do not seem to help at all. Hope it all turns well. Till I have the chance to pop that question.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Browsing Bangkok - Day 2
The day begun when I opened my eyes around 0930hrs. After a long nice bath, I went downstairs for breakfast. American breakfast, served with crossiant, bacon and two eggs, sunny side up.
After breakfast, I went to Bookazine to get the map (89B) and returned to my room to plan for my day. The tourist map that I bought was not to scale, so I am not sure how 'not-to-scale' it is. Set out for the day after briefly planning my trip.
My journey starts by taking the skytrain from Nana Station to Asoke Station. 10B. Then at Asoke Station, I will have to go underground to take the underground train at the Sukhumvit Station. Paying 25B gets me through six stations, arriving at Hua Lamphong Railway Station.
Bought a bottle of softdrink (at 9B) and started venturing into the unknown territory. Walking pass Chinatown, I came into car modifiers' heaven. The whole row of shop houses are wheels and tyres shops with countless wheels and tyres on display. I also passed by some accessories shop and battery shop too. In strong contrast, a grain shop that was stuck between to tyre shops are so quiet that the shopkeeper was napping there while his neighbours were busy with their work. Before long I came to a huge roundabout and decided to randomly take a turn. 30 minutes later, I passed by a Wat (Siamese Temple if I am not wrong). Some funeral service is being held inside. On the pathway, there are kids doing their begging job. When I walked pass one kid, he suddenly started to cry out his lung, hoping that I will help him. I did not even set my eyes on him. Call me cold-blooded if you want, but I have to be fair to other kids too, if I help this kid then I will have to help all other beggar-kids. Thanks but no thanks.
Another half an hour later, drinking the water that I bought from a convenience store for 7B, I came to a junction. The Ministry of Energy sits across the river. And there is this overhead pedestrian bridge that connects the four sides of the road. When I tried to access the bridge, I found that I have to go out to the main street and walk to the beginning of the stairs, because the pathway was blocked. I wonder if the building was built first or the overhead bridge. It seems that they do not have proper planning. By that time, I know I am lost. I cannot even ask for help because I believe none of the people I encounter could speak English. Therefore I tried my luck and crossed the bridge, arriving at the Election Commission of Thailand.
..to be continued
After breakfast, I went to Bookazine to get the map (89B) and returned to my room to plan for my day. The tourist map that I bought was not to scale, so I am not sure how 'not-to-scale' it is. Set out for the day after briefly planning my trip.
My journey starts by taking the skytrain from Nana Station to Asoke Station. 10B. Then at Asoke Station, I will have to go underground to take the underground train at the Sukhumvit Station. Paying 25B gets me through six stations, arriving at Hua Lamphong Railway Station.
Bought a bottle of softdrink (at 9B) and started venturing into the unknown territory. Walking pass Chinatown, I came into car modifiers' heaven. The whole row of shop houses are wheels and tyres shops with countless wheels and tyres on display. I also passed by some accessories shop and battery shop too. In strong contrast, a grain shop that was stuck between to tyre shops are so quiet that the shopkeeper was napping there while his neighbours were busy with their work. Before long I came to a huge roundabout and decided to randomly take a turn. 30 minutes later, I passed by a Wat (Siamese Temple if I am not wrong). Some funeral service is being held inside. On the pathway, there are kids doing their begging job. When I walked pass one kid, he suddenly started to cry out his lung, hoping that I will help him. I did not even set my eyes on him. Call me cold-blooded if you want, but I have to be fair to other kids too, if I help this kid then I will have to help all other beggar-kids. Thanks but no thanks.
Another half an hour later, drinking the water that I bought from a convenience store for 7B, I came to a junction. The Ministry of Energy sits across the river. And there is this overhead pedestrian bridge that connects the four sides of the road. When I tried to access the bridge, I found that I have to go out to the main street and walk to the beginning of the stairs, because the pathway was blocked. I wonder if the building was built first or the overhead bridge. It seems that they do not have proper planning. By that time, I know I am lost. I cannot even ask for help because I believe none of the people I encounter could speak English. Therefore I tried my luck and crossed the bridge, arriving at the Election Commission of Thailand.
..to be continued
Browsing Bangkok - Day 1
Touched down at Bangkok International Airport around 1605hrs local time. The first sight that greeted me was the golf course in between the runways for the airport. You did not read it wrong, a golf course in the airport, between the two landing/takeoff strip. I was wondering what happens if a golf ball hit a plane while it was landing/taking off? It seems that the golf course has been around for ages, so my concern seems to be trivial.
After going through the customs and claiming my baggage, I went to get a airport taxi to my hotel. Spent 1330B(Thai Baht) for the airport-hotel-airport trip. 700B one way, with 10% off the return trip. The best part is, the above-mentioned price do not include the expressway toll, which is 60B. At least the taxi is very comfortable, top of the range Camry, and the driver is well manicured too, his driving skills I mean.
Along the expressway, I noticed that there is a strong Japanese presence here, as some billboards have Japanese on it. Yes, I can differentiate Japanese and Thai, if you are wondering. Only then it strikes me why there are tourist information ONLY FOR JAPANESE in the baggage claim area.
Tipped the taxi driver 40B, from the change of the tollway (gave him 100B to pay earlier). Finally I arrived at Sukhumvit and checked into the room. Since the travel agent that booked the place for me said that it was not that well-conditioned, this place is far better than my expectations. Excellent.
A king-sized bed was sitting in the centre of the room, facing the door, with a big mirror on the top end of the bed. Wonder why they did not install a mirror on the ceiling as well, haha. Browsing through the items on display on top of the fridge, I came across a box of strawberry flavoured condom in threes. Interesting item to find in a hotel room in Thailand, as I have not seen condoms on offer in any of the hotel rooms I have been in. Too bad I have no use for it.
Took a long bath, watching animations from my notebook, and thoroughly relaxed myself. I sure know how to enjoy myself. Ha ha. After that I went out to have dinner. Strolling along the Sukhumvit, I came across a lot of night hawkers, selling things ranging from shirts, shoes, watches to DVDs and other electrical stuffs. I was also shown pictures of sexy Thai ladies in the bath, suggesting that I can have fun with them too. I shook my head and continued with my journey. I walked pass hair saloons and massage parlours, where a lot of young Thai ladies were sitting in idle. I knew what kind of 'service' they provide, so I did not even want to look into the shop. The best way to keep yourself safe is to avoid eye contact with any of the 'servants' or 'agents'. Say NO to whatever they say to you. On the way, I dropped by a coffee shop, Where the World Meets, and grabbed myself an ice-blended coffee. Around 110B.
I passed two Starbucks (within 300 metres of each other) and came to a book store 'Bookazine'. I went in to have a look and saw some map, which I will buy the following day. I discovered that the books in Thailand are quite cheap. For example, Dan Brown's Da Vincci Code retails for around 350B. I continued down the road and decided to have KFC for dinner. Something different is on the menu, with a black pepper sauce whole drumstick, it is far better than the KFC I had in the airport for lunch. Even their salad has tuna in it. And they served my meal in squarish tupperware plate and glass for my Pepsi. The meal costed me only 89B.
After dinner, I went straight back to the hotel. By the time I settled myself comfortably into the bed, watching Star movies on TV, I realised that my notebook is running low in power and needed to be recharged. Only then I realised that the sockets here are different. Went downstairs to asked for an adapter but they do not have one. They suggested that I go to Robinson departmental store to get it, which will take me 10 minutes walk, or one stop by the BTS skytrain. I decided to try out the skytrain. The attendant gave me coin changes for the ticket machine. For one stop, it costed me 10B, and saved my tired legs' engergy too. Money well spent.
Robinson did not have what I wanted, bugger. Luckily an electrical store next to the Robinson, ran by a Thai-Chinese, have the whole row of universal adaptor hanging there, and they caught my eye. Parted 50B for it and happily I am on my way back. Before getting to the skytrain station, I dropped by 7-11 to grab a packet of Lays and a can of Chang Beer (Thailand beer, who is now (or was?) Everton's shirt sponsor). Beer 25B, chips 20B. The beer is cheap, really cheap, and it taste nice too. I only had half of the beer as I do not really drink, just wanted to try out how the beer was.
The weather in Bangkok is so hot and humid, I was sweating all over again. I remembered it was 35 degrees Celcius when I touched down at the airport. On my way back, I saw something very unsettling. A mother, with a kid, was begging by the road side. Beside them is a puppy too. It seems like they are of the same family. Further down the road, another beggar, in his 30s, limbs severed, is doing his normal routine as well. Welcome to Bangkok, I said to myself.
Finally, I settled down into my bed once again. Stuffing my mouth with chips, with beer washing them down my stomach, and watching movies on TV, what more can I ask for? Well, of course someone will say, "Hey mate, you are in Bangkok! Go out and party! Grab some girls and have fun!". No thanks, mate. I did not know when I actually fell asleep, but I had a good night sleep for my first half-day in Bangkok.
Nightzzz...
After going through the customs and claiming my baggage, I went to get a airport taxi to my hotel. Spent 1330B(Thai Baht) for the airport-hotel-airport trip. 700B one way, with 10% off the return trip. The best part is, the above-mentioned price do not include the expressway toll, which is 60B. At least the taxi is very comfortable, top of the range Camry, and the driver is well manicured too, his driving skills I mean.
Along the expressway, I noticed that there is a strong Japanese presence here, as some billboards have Japanese on it. Yes, I can differentiate Japanese and Thai, if you are wondering. Only then it strikes me why there are tourist information ONLY FOR JAPANESE in the baggage claim area.
Tipped the taxi driver 40B, from the change of the tollway (gave him 100B to pay earlier). Finally I arrived at Sukhumvit and checked into the room. Since the travel agent that booked the place for me said that it was not that well-conditioned, this place is far better than my expectations. Excellent.
A king-sized bed was sitting in the centre of the room, facing the door, with a big mirror on the top end of the bed. Wonder why they did not install a mirror on the ceiling as well, haha. Browsing through the items on display on top of the fridge, I came across a box of strawberry flavoured condom in threes. Interesting item to find in a hotel room in Thailand, as I have not seen condoms on offer in any of the hotel rooms I have been in. Too bad I have no use for it.
Took a long bath, watching animations from my notebook, and thoroughly relaxed myself. I sure know how to enjoy myself. Ha ha. After that I went out to have dinner. Strolling along the Sukhumvit, I came across a lot of night hawkers, selling things ranging from shirts, shoes, watches to DVDs and other electrical stuffs. I was also shown pictures of sexy Thai ladies in the bath, suggesting that I can have fun with them too. I shook my head and continued with my journey. I walked pass hair saloons and massage parlours, where a lot of young Thai ladies were sitting in idle. I knew what kind of 'service' they provide, so I did not even want to look into the shop. The best way to keep yourself safe is to avoid eye contact with any of the 'servants' or 'agents'. Say NO to whatever they say to you. On the way, I dropped by a coffee shop, Where the World Meets, and grabbed myself an ice-blended coffee. Around 110B.
I passed two Starbucks (within 300 metres of each other) and came to a book store 'Bookazine'. I went in to have a look and saw some map, which I will buy the following day. I discovered that the books in Thailand are quite cheap. For example, Dan Brown's Da Vincci Code retails for around 350B. I continued down the road and decided to have KFC for dinner. Something different is on the menu, with a black pepper sauce whole drumstick, it is far better than the KFC I had in the airport for lunch. Even their salad has tuna in it. And they served my meal in squarish tupperware plate and glass for my Pepsi. The meal costed me only 89B.
After dinner, I went straight back to the hotel. By the time I settled myself comfortably into the bed, watching Star movies on TV, I realised that my notebook is running low in power and needed to be recharged. Only then I realised that the sockets here are different. Went downstairs to asked for an adapter but they do not have one. They suggested that I go to Robinson departmental store to get it, which will take me 10 minutes walk, or one stop by the BTS skytrain. I decided to try out the skytrain. The attendant gave me coin changes for the ticket machine. For one stop, it costed me 10B, and saved my tired legs' engergy too. Money well spent.
Robinson did not have what I wanted, bugger. Luckily an electrical store next to the Robinson, ran by a Thai-Chinese, have the whole row of universal adaptor hanging there, and they caught my eye. Parted 50B for it and happily I am on my way back. Before getting to the skytrain station, I dropped by 7-11 to grab a packet of Lays and a can of Chang Beer (Thailand beer, who is now (or was?) Everton's shirt sponsor). Beer 25B, chips 20B. The beer is cheap, really cheap, and it taste nice too. I only had half of the beer as I do not really drink, just wanted to try out how the beer was.
The weather in Bangkok is so hot and humid, I was sweating all over again. I remembered it was 35 degrees Celcius when I touched down at the airport. On my way back, I saw something very unsettling. A mother, with a kid, was begging by the road side. Beside them is a puppy too. It seems like they are of the same family. Further down the road, another beggar, in his 30s, limbs severed, is doing his normal routine as well. Welcome to Bangkok, I said to myself.
Finally, I settled down into my bed once again. Stuffing my mouth with chips, with beer washing them down my stomach, and watching movies on TV, what more can I ask for? Well, of course someone will say, "Hey mate, you are in Bangkok! Go out and party! Grab some girls and have fun!". No thanks, mate. I did not know when I actually fell asleep, but I had a good night sleep for my first half-day in Bangkok.
Nightzzz...
Thursday, September 22, 2005
R.I.P. E.P.L.
Rest in peace, English Premier League.
If this can happen, what more can I say? Six wins in as many games. It is getting boring, is it not? Maybe Chelsea should move to La Liga and compete with the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona.
If you do not believe what you see, you can try to see for yourself here. But I am not sure they will change the team next week, or it will remain the same until Chelsea finally get beaten. (Hopefully by Manchester United, or Liverpool, or Newcastle.)
All I can say is from what I see, the English teams have been playing too defensively and often move forward only in counterattacks. Not much goalmouth action. (Or maybe I just watch Man Utd games and our opponents defend with all ten men in the box.)
Even Rooney is losing his temper. Good job, referee. *Clapping loudly in his presence* Send me off if you like, I do not care. Even FIFA, UEFA, URMAMA cannot do anything to me. =P
*Eminem starts singing in my ears* Will the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...
*Begin to hum to the tune* Will the real Red Devil please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...
Gosh, I have too much of the stress running in my head that I am getting crazy...too much blood rushing to my head...
No, no, no, don't stand up, don't stand up.
If this can happen, what more can I say? Six wins in as many games. It is getting boring, is it not? Maybe Chelsea should move to La Liga and compete with the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona.
If you do not believe what you see, you can try to see for yourself here. But I am not sure they will change the team next week, or it will remain the same until Chelsea finally get beaten. (Hopefully by Manchester United, or Liverpool, or Newcastle.)
All I can say is from what I see, the English teams have been playing too defensively and often move forward only in counterattacks. Not much goalmouth action. (Or maybe I just watch Man Utd games and our opponents defend with all ten men in the box.)
Even Rooney is losing his temper. Good job, referee. *Clapping loudly in his presence* Send me off if you like, I do not care. Even FIFA, UEFA, URMAMA cannot do anything to me. =P
*Eminem starts singing in my ears* Will the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...
*Begin to hum to the tune* Will the real Red Devil please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...
Gosh, I have too much of the stress running in my head that I am getting crazy...too much blood rushing to my head...
No, no, no, don't stand up, don't stand up.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Merry X'mas
The truck has finally arrived. It is a Rusa, painted red on the nose in front with some sledge-like artwork on both sides. Some tiny bells are hanging on the doors. The registration plates read something like 'Randolph'.
I ran from my room, full of hope, and hurried to the truck to see the elf-like workers unloading the goods. One by one, they carefully picked up the boxes and distributed them to their respective receipents. One big German fella was standing on top of the truck doing nothing but laughing out loud. 'Ho! Ho! Ho!'. If my memory did not fail me, his name is Klaus.
I eagerly waited for my turn to receive the goods, I even had my extra large stockings with me just in case that funny German want to play games with me. I waited, waited and then, waited. Slowly, I began to realise that I have been overlooked, AGAIN. The truck is empty by now, and so are my stockings. What I have asked for, is not here. I wonder if the SMS I sent to Santa has gone through at all. I thought he promised me that it will be here this x'mas. Ugh, I felt so disgusted.
WTF. ~!@#$%^&*... I have to wait till next x'mas.
I ran from my room, full of hope, and hurried to the truck to see the elf-like workers unloading the goods. One by one, they carefully picked up the boxes and distributed them to their respective receipents. One big German fella was standing on top of the truck doing nothing but laughing out loud. 'Ho! Ho! Ho!'. If my memory did not fail me, his name is Klaus.
I eagerly waited for my turn to receive the goods, I even had my extra large stockings with me just in case that funny German want to play games with me. I waited, waited and then, waited. Slowly, I began to realise that I have been overlooked, AGAIN. The truck is empty by now, and so are my stockings. What I have asked for, is not here. I wonder if the SMS I sent to Santa has gone through at all. I thought he promised me that it will be here this x'mas. Ugh, I felt so disgusted.
WTF. ~!@#$%^&*... I have to wait till next x'mas.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Death Sentence
When one has committed an unforgiveable serious crime, s/he shall be given a death sentence. No questions asked. What about when one who has done nothing bad and has done uncountable charity deeds, shall s/he be given a death sentence? A death sentence one has to suffer a lot before s/he eventually dies?
Perhaps most of us would relate this to Hurricane Katrina, or the other natural disasters taking place in East Asia while I type this, but this is about one of my closest relative, the one who is so important that without him, I will not be blogging here today.
While my grandpa is in agony, sufferring from the pain caused by cancerous cells spreading all over his body, those around him are in agony too, mentally. Especially my grandma, who has been taking care of him since he collapsed while trying to go to the toilet in the wee hours of the morning a few weeks back.
Since then, my grandpa's condition has deterioated badly. He has basically given up hope on recuperating and would like to live his last days peacefully at home. Yet, my grandma would not let him go. She still have not given up hope yet. My dad has been trying to make his siblings understand grandpa's wishes to go to heaven peacefully, and with dignity.
It is true that when there is still a mathematical chance of beating the illness, we should try our best to beat it. But sometimes, is it worth going through so much pain? Taking so much risk? Even to die on the operating table? If I were in such situation, I would rather go home and wait for the day God come to bring me Home to his Kingdom.
If you are reading this, please pray for my grandpa's safe passage to after-life. Thank you.
Perhaps most of us would relate this to Hurricane Katrina, or the other natural disasters taking place in East Asia while I type this, but this is about one of my closest relative, the one who is so important that without him, I will not be blogging here today.
While my grandpa is in agony, sufferring from the pain caused by cancerous cells spreading all over his body, those around him are in agony too, mentally. Especially my grandma, who has been taking care of him since he collapsed while trying to go to the toilet in the wee hours of the morning a few weeks back.
Since then, my grandpa's condition has deterioated badly. He has basically given up hope on recuperating and would like to live his last days peacefully at home. Yet, my grandma would not let him go. She still have not given up hope yet. My dad has been trying to make his siblings understand grandpa's wishes to go to heaven peacefully, and with dignity.
It is true that when there is still a mathematical chance of beating the illness, we should try our best to beat it. But sometimes, is it worth going through so much pain? Taking so much risk? Even to die on the operating table? If I were in such situation, I would rather go home and wait for the day God come to bring me Home to his Kingdom.
If you are reading this, please pray for my grandpa's safe passage to after-life. Thank you.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Detour
Have you ever thought of being able to jump out of the current life you are living and leap into another people's body and live his/her life for a day? That is when you get to see yourself from another point of view.
Since I was a child, I have always asked, "Why am I in this body but not someone else's body?"
It is not to say that my life is treating me badly, it is just that I am curious why I was chosen to be myself.
This is not a religious blog, nor I am trying to tell tales in a scientific way. I will try to be neutral and type in whatever pops up in my mind. But then, I have always loved the drama 'Quantum Leap'. I can still vividly remember how Scott Bakula was able to travel from one body to another (and once he was a chimpanzee!).
What would I have done if I were able to do some quantum leaping?
First of all, I would like to leap into my partner's life. Ahem, no, it is not what you think, if you do not have a pure and innocent mindset. I just wanted to know how I treated her. Sometimes even when I am aware of my behaviour, I would not be able to know how it felt on the receiving end of my sometimes erratic character.
Secondly, I would like to try to be in my parents' shoes. Wanted to know how 'filial' am I a son to them. Armed with this experience and knowledge, I would be able to treat them nicely and not to upset them regularly, since I will never be staying with them forever.
Last but not least, I would like to see how I treat my friends. How my friends see me. And what strangers think of me when they encounter this being on the street.
I just want to have an overall look at myself. I believe it would make myself a better person if I did. So it would be nice if I would be able to take a detour from my life for a while and scrutinize myself from another point of view. Do you not agree with me?
Since I was a child, I have always asked, "Why am I in this body but not someone else's body?"
It is not to say that my life is treating me badly, it is just that I am curious why I was chosen to be myself.
This is not a religious blog, nor I am trying to tell tales in a scientific way. I will try to be neutral and type in whatever pops up in my mind. But then, I have always loved the drama 'Quantum Leap'. I can still vividly remember how Scott Bakula was able to travel from one body to another (and once he was a chimpanzee!).
What would I have done if I were able to do some quantum leaping?
First of all, I would like to leap into my partner's life. Ahem, no, it is not what you think, if you do not have a pure and innocent mindset. I just wanted to know how I treated her. Sometimes even when I am aware of my behaviour, I would not be able to know how it felt on the receiving end of my sometimes erratic character.
Secondly, I would like to try to be in my parents' shoes. Wanted to know how 'filial' am I a son to them. Armed with this experience and knowledge, I would be able to treat them nicely and not to upset them regularly, since I will never be staying with them forever.
Last but not least, I would like to see how I treat my friends. How my friends see me. And what strangers think of me when they encounter this being on the street.
I just want to have an overall look at myself. I believe it would make myself a better person if I did. So it would be nice if I would be able to take a detour from my life for a while and scrutinize myself from another point of view. Do you not agree with me?
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Rojak
It does not make sense, does it? Having Rojak as a title for my blog. What does Rojak mean anyway? (Well, that is if you have not tried this Malaysian/Singaporean delicacy.)
As found on The Coxford Singlish Dictionary, Rojak means:
A salad of mixed vegetables taken with sauce. Of Malay origin, it has been adapted by all races. In Singlish (or Manglish), it is used as an adjective, to describe something as being either eclectic, or just plain messy.
So what I meant to blog today is really just plain messy thoughts that I had over these few weeks.
To start things off, I am trying to push myself to blog at least once a week. This need determination and I do not really have much of it. Must try to pull myself together to make this blog a place for readers like you to frequent. (If I have any 'loyal' readers, that is.)
Some time last week, I went out on site to a International Language Training Center to do some maintenance and marketing work. When I arrived on site and tried to go to the office, I was greeted by a sign that reads:
In English it simply means:
What the? Either way no one can enter that place, which is supposed to be their reception/office! Unbelievable! This is not any normal institution, this is the International Language Training Center! Oh gosh, it is either language teachers have no logic, or my language level is not that logical.
As found on The Coxford Singlish Dictionary, Rojak means:
A salad of mixed vegetables taken with sauce. Of Malay origin, it has been adapted by all races. In Singlish (or Manglish), it is used as an adjective, to describe something as being either eclectic, or just plain messy.
So what I meant to blog today is really just plain messy thoughts that I had over these few weeks.
To start things off, I am trying to push myself to blog at least once a week. This need determination and I do not really have much of it. Must try to pull myself together to make this blog a place for readers like you to frequent. (If I have any 'loyal' readers, that is.)
Some time last week, I went out on site to a International Language Training Center to do some maintenance and marketing work. When I arrived on site and tried to go to the office, I was greeted by a sign that reads:
TIDAK DIBENARKAN MASUK TANPA URUSAN
JIKA ADA URUSAN SILA KE TINGKAT 7
In English it simply means:
NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER WITHOUT BUSINESS
IF (YOU) HAVE BUSINESS PLEASE GO TO 7TH FLOOR
What the? Either way no one can enter that place, which is supposed to be their reception/office! Unbelievable! This is not any normal institution, this is the International Language Training Center! Oh gosh, it is either language teachers have no logic, or my language level is not that logical.
Anyway, had a business trip to the Malaysian East Coast last weekend. This was my first visit to the east coast and I saw a lot of interesting things. First of all, I just realised that there is a Kampung New Zealand (New Zealand Village) in Malaysia! And the best part is, they grow apples there! (Wonder if they are growing New Zealand apples.)
The other thing that impressed me was the oil rigs/refineries around the Dungun area. I just cannot describe it in word, just plain impressive. And the scenery lasted for almost one kilometer. Right after we passed all these seems-to-be-so-high-tech buildings, a host of kampung(village) houses greeted us. We had steam chilli crab for dinner that night.
A few words on the current affair. The AP issue has got into everyone's mind! But are we talking about Approved Permits or Ayah Pin?
My brain is basically dead now, and could not think of anything. So I am going to finish off my rojak here.
Till later.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Two Lights at End of Tunnel
I have just survived the worst few months of my career recently. Oh well, my career has just started a few months ago anyway, ha ha.
All right, I have to admit that I just went through the transition period where every rookie would have difficulties bridging the mental gap between the ideal academic world and the real working environment.
If that is not enough for me to handle, things took a turn for the worst. Nothing I did turn out the way it should be (or I thought it would be). I have the tendency to repeat stupid mistakes on an hourly basis, not being able to listen and to remember the instructions given, messing up the priorities of tasks, resulting in my boss basically losing it everytime I was in sight. However, I survived.
It took me almost two months to pull myself out of the slump and another month to regain my confidence so that I can work to my fullest capacity. Thankfully, things look better now and I can confidently say that I am no longer causing problem to my colleagues.
Now, after seeing me going through all these and not giving up, my boss has given me two words, which will help me in handling every aspects of life if I thoroughly comprehend and exercise these two words.
As found on dictionary.com, the two words and their explanation are as listed:
de·mar·ca·tion also de·mar·ka·tion
n. 1: The setting or marking of boundaries or limits. A separation; a distinction: a line of demarcation between two rock strata.
quanti·fi·cation
n. 1: a limitation imposed on the variables of a proposition (as by the quantifiers `some' or `all' or `no') 2: the act of discovering or expressing the quantity of something
In my own words, if I did not get the idea wrongly, when given a task or met with a situation, we have to demarcate and to quantify the task and/or the situation.
To demarcate the task/situation basically means to distinguish the various factors/conditions/circumstances of the task/situation and mentally listing these items accordingly. In short, I have to be able to pick out the ingredients being used to concoct the salad. That might include different vegetables and fruits, salad dressings, etc. Sometimes, we might have unconciously leave out ingredients such as olive oil which we thought was insignificant but was important in enhancing the salad. And experience will help us avoid ignorance.
To quantify the task/situation is to give weight to the factors/conditions/circumstances of the task/situation. Using the same salad sample above, it is to determine how much vegetables and fruits, salad dressing, olive oil etc. to put in the salad. Quantification needs more experience and thoughts given into the task/situation. It has a higher order than demarcation.
However, I hope to master these two words so that I will be successful in time to come. Wish me luck!
All right, I have to admit that I just went through the transition period where every rookie would have difficulties bridging the mental gap between the ideal academic world and the real working environment.
If that is not enough for me to handle, things took a turn for the worst. Nothing I did turn out the way it should be (or I thought it would be). I have the tendency to repeat stupid mistakes on an hourly basis, not being able to listen and to remember the instructions given, messing up the priorities of tasks, resulting in my boss basically losing it everytime I was in sight. However, I survived.
It took me almost two months to pull myself out of the slump and another month to regain my confidence so that I can work to my fullest capacity. Thankfully, things look better now and I can confidently say that I am no longer causing problem to my colleagues.
Now, after seeing me going through all these and not giving up, my boss has given me two words, which will help me in handling every aspects of life if I thoroughly comprehend and exercise these two words.
As found on dictionary.com, the two words and their explanation are as listed:
de·mar·ca·tion also de·mar·ka·tion
n. 1: The setting or marking of boundaries or limits. A separation; a distinction: a line of demarcation between two rock strata.
quanti·fi·cation
n. 1: a limitation imposed on the variables of a proposition (as by the quantifiers `some' or `all' or `no') 2: the act of discovering or expressing the quantity of something
In my own words, if I did not get the idea wrongly, when given a task or met with a situation, we have to demarcate and to quantify the task and/or the situation.
To demarcate the task/situation basically means to distinguish the various factors/conditions/circumstances of the task/situation and mentally listing these items accordingly. In short, I have to be able to pick out the ingredients being used to concoct the salad. That might include different vegetables and fruits, salad dressings, etc. Sometimes, we might have unconciously leave out ingredients such as olive oil which we thought was insignificant but was important in enhancing the salad. And experience will help us avoid ignorance.
To quantify the task/situation is to give weight to the factors/conditions/circumstances of the task/situation. Using the same salad sample above, it is to determine how much vegetables and fruits, salad dressing, olive oil etc. to put in the salad. Quantification needs more experience and thoughts given into the task/situation. It has a higher order than demarcation.
However, I hope to master these two words so that I will be successful in time to come. Wish me luck!
Friday, June 17, 2005
The Story of The Fishermen
Last Friday during a presentation with a business partner, my boss told us the story of the fishermen.
"Once there was a reward of $300,000 for any fisherman to produce 100 tonnes of fishes at a set date. A clever fisherman took up the offer and in turn posted a reward of $1,000 to any fishermen to catch 1 tonne of fishes. In no time, this clever fisherman reached the target and claimed a handsome profit."
I was sitting there, listening to the story and analysing the cleverness of the fisherman for gaining profit without lifting his finger. All he needs is just a useful brain and a good network of fishermen friends. Obviously, the upfront payment of $100,000 is necessary, or any deals with the hard-working fishermen has to be worked out if he were to pay them after receiving the $300,000 reward. Negotiation skills are needed here as well.
When I thought I have understood the moral, the mechanics, the skills involved, etc, to carry out the job in the story, my boss asked me this question, "Why did I tell this story?"
I was stunned. I have no idea at all. Smiling at my dumbfounded look, my boss slowly continued, "In your position, what role do you think you are in? The big boss working behind the scenes offering $300,000? The clever fishermen? Or the hard-working fishermen who did the labour work for just $1,000?" After a pause, my boss continued, "And which role do you want to be?"
It is only then I realised that the presentation was to show our business partner the vast ocean of fish, and our company being the behind-the-scene big boss, and the amazing profit one can get working to get the big catch. How would our business partner perceive their role? As the clever fisherman? Or the hard-working for tiny rewards fishermen? They have to decide for their company.
Either way, I have learnt a valuable lesson, and that is worth more than a 100 tonnes of fishes.
"Once there was a reward of $300,000 for any fisherman to produce 100 tonnes of fishes at a set date. A clever fisherman took up the offer and in turn posted a reward of $1,000 to any fishermen to catch 1 tonne of fishes. In no time, this clever fisherman reached the target and claimed a handsome profit."
I was sitting there, listening to the story and analysing the cleverness of the fisherman for gaining profit without lifting his finger. All he needs is just a useful brain and a good network of fishermen friends. Obviously, the upfront payment of $100,000 is necessary, or any deals with the hard-working fishermen has to be worked out if he were to pay them after receiving the $300,000 reward. Negotiation skills are needed here as well.
When I thought I have understood the moral, the mechanics, the skills involved, etc, to carry out the job in the story, my boss asked me this question, "Why did I tell this story?"
I was stunned. I have no idea at all. Smiling at my dumbfounded look, my boss slowly continued, "In your position, what role do you think you are in? The big boss working behind the scenes offering $300,000? The clever fishermen? Or the hard-working fishermen who did the labour work for just $1,000?" After a pause, my boss continued, "And which role do you want to be?"
It is only then I realised that the presentation was to show our business partner the vast ocean of fish, and our company being the behind-the-scene big boss, and the amazing profit one can get working to get the big catch. How would our business partner perceive their role? As the clever fisherman? Or the hard-working for tiny rewards fishermen? They have to decide for their company.
Either way, I have learnt a valuable lesson, and that is worth more than a 100 tonnes of fishes.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Happy Birthday II
Have you ever tried to dry a soaking wet cloth? You must be twisting the cloth so hard that if the fabrics are not strong enough it will be torn into pieces. Yet there are still water dripping out of the poor cloth.
Imagine that happening to your stomach. On your birthday. In a deserted train coach. Now that is what I call an unforgetable birthday experience.
As you have read from my previous blog, I am 'celebrating' my birthday in Singapore. After the 11am appointment, I have decided to take a train to return to KL. That was almost a grave mistake.
After boarding the 3:30pm train, we left the station a little after 4pm. I looked around the cabin and was astonished to find that only two other passengers were in the same coach. Later, one lady got off at Kluang and not sure when the other passenger alighted the train.
I bought a can of soft drink and a tube of Pringles when the train stopped at the Segamat station for 10 minutes. I was very hungry as it was around 7pm that the train has arrived at Segamat, which is just a little more than halfway to the ultimate destination. I was also given a bottle of mineral water as a 'complimentary drink' from the railway company.
Then the 'fun' came almost half an hour later. First I felt the stomach ache, and I thought it was just a normal one. Headed to the washroom, did the business, but the ache would not leave. Things took a turn for the worst. I began to feel nauseous and soon I was throwing up. When I expect it to be over, the pain attacked again. This time it was more rhythmic and the pain gets progressively stronger. I was having cold sweat all over. I thought I was going to lose concious in the washroom. With all my remaining energy, I pulled myself together and managed to get back to the cabin, where no one was in sight. I just sat at the first available seat and tried to sleep off the pain. I am not really sure what happened between then and finally arriving at KL Sentral Station. I was drifting in and out of conciousness.
An hour before the end of my birthday, I finally got home and crashed on my bed instantly. I could not remember when the pain subdued but I could never forget the pain I have been through. On my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.
Imagine that happening to your stomach. On your birthday. In a deserted train coach. Now that is what I call an unforgetable birthday experience.
As you have read from my previous blog, I am 'celebrating' my birthday in Singapore. After the 11am appointment, I have decided to take a train to return to KL. That was almost a grave mistake.
After boarding the 3:30pm train, we left the station a little after 4pm. I looked around the cabin and was astonished to find that only two other passengers were in the same coach. Later, one lady got off at Kluang and not sure when the other passenger alighted the train.
I bought a can of soft drink and a tube of Pringles when the train stopped at the Segamat station for 10 minutes. I was very hungry as it was around 7pm that the train has arrived at Segamat, which is just a little more than halfway to the ultimate destination. I was also given a bottle of mineral water as a 'complimentary drink' from the railway company.
Then the 'fun' came almost half an hour later. First I felt the stomach ache, and I thought it was just a normal one. Headed to the washroom, did the business, but the ache would not leave. Things took a turn for the worst. I began to feel nauseous and soon I was throwing up. When I expect it to be over, the pain attacked again. This time it was more rhythmic and the pain gets progressively stronger. I was having cold sweat all over. I thought I was going to lose concious in the washroom. With all my remaining energy, I pulled myself together and managed to get back to the cabin, where no one was in sight. I just sat at the first available seat and tried to sleep off the pain. I am not really sure what happened between then and finally arriving at KL Sentral Station. I was drifting in and out of conciousness.
An hour before the end of my birthday, I finally got home and crashed on my bed instantly. I could not remember when the pain subdued but I could never forget the pain I have been through. On my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Happy Birthday I
Happy Birthday to me.
This is the first time I am ‘celebrating’ birthday on my own. I am in a country neither my motherland nor my hometown. (Well, there is a difference between my motherland and my hometown, if you know me well enough to tell.) I am all alone in Coffee Club, Raffles Place, Singapore. I just had my breakfast and waiting for my 11am appointment. The time now is 9:42am. Lots of time to kill.
And what a way to start my birthday. The first significant thing that happened to me today was that I broke my mother’s watch, or my watch I should say. I sort of ‘forcefully’ made the watch mine by saying that it will be my birthday present, and since I am my mum’s only child, I am sure I am the spoilt brat, heh heh.
This is my first trip to Singapore in almost a decade. It is a wonderful country, with beautiful people and a harmonic culture all around. Funnily enough, just after spending a day here, I have decided to spend a few years of my career here. Or maybe even setting up my family here. It only took Singapore one day to convince me to do so. Well, that is if I am comparing Melbourne and KL with Singapore.
I still consider myself a frog in the bottom of the well. I have never been out of the Asia-Pacific region, therefore I can only say that currently Singapore is the place I want to work and stay. Of course Melbourne will always come first, when I retire that is, but Singapore seems to be a more ideal place to stay, to work and to study. I was told that the crime rates here are quite low. People here does not live in the fear that they encounter hooligans or beggars or drug addicts easily on a main street like Orchard Road, unlike on Swanston Street. (and Bintang Walk?)
Even when the properties are expensive and it takes a millionaire to own a car, I still find Singapore desirable. All thanks to the good planning and development of the government, and more specifically their Minister Mentor. At least the food here is cheaper than in Melbourne. The prices are the almost comparable to those in KL, with the exchange rate not taken in account. If we work here and live here, it is affordable. The public transport are by far the best I have seen. We barely survive in KL without a car, do not even think about the messy public transport system, if there is actually one; the public transport system in Melbourne is very very unreliable and extremely expensive; by far, Singapore has the more reliable, punctual and affordable public transport system. Furthermore, since Singapore is a small country, the public transport coverage are supremely extensive.
The impression of the country so far has been a positive one. I would like to explore more of this place but I have limited time. Hopefully I will get to do this again in the near future, on a fully-paid business trip, heh heh. Anyway, I have to end my blog here and I will be back soon.
Ps. Thanks to those that have extended their birthday wishes to me, I was not able to respond to you all since my phone carrier does not allow me to send SMS while having registration-free global roaming.
This is the first time I am ‘celebrating’ birthday on my own. I am in a country neither my motherland nor my hometown. (Well, there is a difference between my motherland and my hometown, if you know me well enough to tell.) I am all alone in Coffee Club, Raffles Place, Singapore. I just had my breakfast and waiting for my 11am appointment. The time now is 9:42am. Lots of time to kill.
And what a way to start my birthday. The first significant thing that happened to me today was that I broke my mother’s watch, or my watch I should say. I sort of ‘forcefully’ made the watch mine by saying that it will be my birthday present, and since I am my mum’s only child, I am sure I am the spoilt brat, heh heh.
This is my first trip to Singapore in almost a decade. It is a wonderful country, with beautiful people and a harmonic culture all around. Funnily enough, just after spending a day here, I have decided to spend a few years of my career here. Or maybe even setting up my family here. It only took Singapore one day to convince me to do so. Well, that is if I am comparing Melbourne and KL with Singapore.
I still consider myself a frog in the bottom of the well. I have never been out of the Asia-Pacific region, therefore I can only say that currently Singapore is the place I want to work and stay. Of course Melbourne will always come first, when I retire that is, but Singapore seems to be a more ideal place to stay, to work and to study. I was told that the crime rates here are quite low. People here does not live in the fear that they encounter hooligans or beggars or drug addicts easily on a main street like Orchard Road, unlike on Swanston Street. (and Bintang Walk?)
Even when the properties are expensive and it takes a millionaire to own a car, I still find Singapore desirable. All thanks to the good planning and development of the government, and more specifically their Minister Mentor. At least the food here is cheaper than in Melbourne. The prices are the almost comparable to those in KL, with the exchange rate not taken in account. If we work here and live here, it is affordable. The public transport are by far the best I have seen. We barely survive in KL without a car, do not even think about the messy public transport system, if there is actually one; the public transport system in Melbourne is very very unreliable and extremely expensive; by far, Singapore has the more reliable, punctual and affordable public transport system. Furthermore, since Singapore is a small country, the public transport coverage are supremely extensive.
The impression of the country so far has been a positive one. I would like to explore more of this place but I have limited time. Hopefully I will get to do this again in the near future, on a fully-paid business trip, heh heh. Anyway, I have to end my blog here and I will be back soon.
Ps. Thanks to those that have extended their birthday wishes to me, I was not able to respond to you all since my phone carrier does not allow me to send SMS while having registration-free global roaming.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Where's the Love?
I have lost touch with the feeling. That feeling. The feeling of Love.
When I see my other half, I no longer feel my heart beating faster. Nor I can feel my palm sweating. Nor breathing heavier. The magic of love just disappeared. Do I, or do I not, love her? Tough one for me to answer. I felt that I have lost the ability to love.
Looking back at those days and those heartbreaking moments that she had to endure, did she not suffer enough to show her love for me? Should I love her back more than the pain that she had to suffer because she loved me too much? Do I have to love her back just because of the responbility that I bear, or do I love her just because I really do? I seriously do not know.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is that true? Why do I not feel that way? Why do I feel that she does not miss me? And if she does, why is she not showing? Is it because I love her that I am feeling anxious? Or is it because of my pride that I do no want to lose her? Why would I get unhappy when not getting any messages or phone calls from her? Why did I not call her or message her instead? Are we both moving towards opposite ends?
I have decided that she will be the ONE. The ONE I want to marry, the ONE to bear my children and the ONE to be my companion for the rest of my life. The decision is not based purely on love. Other considerations have been taken into account to reach the conclusion. Yes, Love plays a role in the decision too. But not the most important one. Come to think of it, am I the ONE for her?
Is it true that we do not usually get to be with the one we love most? Maybe, maybe not. Some people spend their whole life looking for the one they love the most, yet they have passed by a lot of chances that might eventually blossom into a colourful relationship. In the end, they might prefer being alone, or be with someone not of their choice. And they tend to say that everything is fated.
Some decided to settle down with one that meets most of their criteria, even though their characteristics might not match nor compatible. They will try hard to work things around and compromise on the relationship. Usually this will work if both parties are agreeable and have a high level of tolerance. But where is the love? Hardly existing, is it not? Perhaps as the times go by they will slowly develop feelings for each other, but never the sparkling feelings like couples who fall deeply in love.
Anyway, there will hardly be a perfect ending to a relationship. Do not even bother dreaming of a happily ever after fairy tale. After all, those are just fairy tales. In real life, think of the term 'trade-offs', and we are almost there.
When I see my other half, I no longer feel my heart beating faster. Nor I can feel my palm sweating. Nor breathing heavier. The magic of love just disappeared. Do I, or do I not, love her? Tough one for me to answer. I felt that I have lost the ability to love.
Looking back at those days and those heartbreaking moments that she had to endure, did she not suffer enough to show her love for me? Should I love her back more than the pain that she had to suffer because she loved me too much? Do I have to love her back just because of the responbility that I bear, or do I love her just because I really do? I seriously do not know.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is that true? Why do I not feel that way? Why do I feel that she does not miss me? And if she does, why is she not showing? Is it because I love her that I am feeling anxious? Or is it because of my pride that I do no want to lose her? Why would I get unhappy when not getting any messages or phone calls from her? Why did I not call her or message her instead? Are we both moving towards opposite ends?
I have decided that she will be the ONE. The ONE I want to marry, the ONE to bear my children and the ONE to be my companion for the rest of my life. The decision is not based purely on love. Other considerations have been taken into account to reach the conclusion. Yes, Love plays a role in the decision too. But not the most important one. Come to think of it, am I the ONE for her?
Is it true that we do not usually get to be with the one we love most? Maybe, maybe not. Some people spend their whole life looking for the one they love the most, yet they have passed by a lot of chances that might eventually blossom into a colourful relationship. In the end, they might prefer being alone, or be with someone not of their choice. And they tend to say that everything is fated.
Some decided to settle down with one that meets most of their criteria, even though their characteristics might not match nor compatible. They will try hard to work things around and compromise on the relationship. Usually this will work if both parties are agreeable and have a high level of tolerance. But where is the love? Hardly existing, is it not? Perhaps as the times go by they will slowly develop feelings for each other, but never the sparkling feelings like couples who fall deeply in love.
Anyway, there will hardly be a perfect ending to a relationship. Do not even bother dreaming of a happily ever after fairy tale. After all, those are just fairy tales. In real life, think of the term 'trade-offs', and we are almost there.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
A Few Words to Remember
There are times that we make silly mistakes. Most of the time when this happens, it is because we are not acting ourselves. That is because we have lost ourselves.
1. Never let emotions take over
Under any circumstances, never let your emotions take over you. Once you let your emotion takes over, you will lose control of yourself. And when emotion comes to work, it will either do wonders or it will cause disasters. And it is always the latter that occurs. This is very important as the more patience we have, the more successful we will become. Yet, I have not mastered the skill to control my emotion, but I am trying very hard now.
2. Never assume anything
If you break the word assume up, you can see ASS U ME. If you put these words into perspective, you will know that if you assume things, it will make an ASS out of U and ME. So, never assume anything. Find out more, get hold of facts, ask around. If you are afraid of the trouble, you cannot be far away from becoming an ASS.
3. Never be greedy
That is what my grandpa always tell me. Never be greedy. Shall it be wealth, women, whatever. We have to be content with what we have. If our desire grew beyond contentment, it will spell trouble. Have you ever heard that a greedy person will have a good ending? I have not.
4. Listen to what people have to say before making your judgement
We always have this habit of making judgement on something before thoroughly understanding it. Just like judging a book by its cover. Most of the time when this happens, we either miss out on something or we will make a fool out of ourselves. It is very hard for us to avoid having our pre-conception affecting our judgement, but we must try not to be affected by it. Obviously, first impression counts, but first impressions are always inaccurate.
These are the important words that I would like to always remind myself of. I would also like to share these words with anyone who is interested. If you have any words of wisdom that you would like to share with all of us, please generously do so. And last but not least, we have nothing to lose being polite, even to our enemies. Thank you very much.
1. Never let emotions take over
Under any circumstances, never let your emotions take over you. Once you let your emotion takes over, you will lose control of yourself. And when emotion comes to work, it will either do wonders or it will cause disasters. And it is always the latter that occurs. This is very important as the more patience we have, the more successful we will become. Yet, I have not mastered the skill to control my emotion, but I am trying very hard now.
2. Never assume anything
If you break the word assume up, you can see ASS U ME. If you put these words into perspective, you will know that if you assume things, it will make an ASS out of U and ME. So, never assume anything. Find out more, get hold of facts, ask around. If you are afraid of the trouble, you cannot be far away from becoming an ASS.
3. Never be greedy
That is what my grandpa always tell me. Never be greedy. Shall it be wealth, women, whatever. We have to be content with what we have. If our desire grew beyond contentment, it will spell trouble. Have you ever heard that a greedy person will have a good ending? I have not.
4. Listen to what people have to say before making your judgement
We always have this habit of making judgement on something before thoroughly understanding it. Just like judging a book by its cover. Most of the time when this happens, we either miss out on something or we will make a fool out of ourselves. It is very hard for us to avoid having our pre-conception affecting our judgement, but we must try not to be affected by it. Obviously, first impression counts, but first impressions are always inaccurate.
These are the important words that I would like to always remind myself of. I would also like to share these words with anyone who is interested. If you have any words of wisdom that you would like to share with all of us, please generously do so. And last but not least, we have nothing to lose being polite, even to our enemies. Thank you very much.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Chinese New Year
Chinese New Year - An occasion to cherish those living and to remember those who have passed away.
I have been absent from this blog for a while. Yes, I have been busy acclimatising to the new working environment. I have also been busy settling down in my temporary place of residence. It is never easy staying with relatives, not to mention that you are not paying any rent for the limited space (both physically and psycologically speaking) to live in. Hopefully I will get an affordable (read:cheap) place to move in soon. Must start talk to God more often, I have not been praying since returning.
Back to the main topic. Chinese New Year.
Our family has a traditional way of celebrating CNY, so have other traditional Chinese family. I would like to record the rituals of our celebration from the 30th night (the last day of the lunar calendar year) to the first day of the new year.
The 30th night is usually a celebration of the harvest of the past year, therefore members of the family shall return to their family home to have dinner. Sitting around the family dining table, members of the family share the food (usually cooked by the mother), jokes and experiences gained over the year in a warm and celebrative mood. In our family, we have to pay respect to our ancestors before having the 'tuan2 yuan2 fan4' (which means uniting dinner).
The ritual starts with tidying and cleaning the altar where the ancestors spiritually resides. On the altar, there will be a piece of nice wooden block with the generations and names of our ancestors carefully printed on it. After lighting the two red candles, we began to burn the incense. Usually there will be three big incense followed by smaller ones. Each of the family member will hold three of the smaller incense while three of the eldest will each hold one big incense. Also, before the ritual starts, we have to lay out a variety of food in front of the altar. Our food to the ancestors include a whole chicken (including the head), a piece of roasted pork, vegetables, fruits, CNY biscuits and snacks. There are three small cups for tea, five bigger cups for white liquor, with five pairs of chopsticks laid in front of our ancestors (we are paying respect to five ancestors). Once the dust of the incense begin to drop, which we consider a nod of acknowledgement from our ancestors, we will burn them some paper money, paper gold and other stuffs. Our ancestors will get to receive these items by burning them. Obviously we are not going to burn them the REAL thing! After the giving and receiving of items are completed (when those paper-based items are burnt to ashes), we will have to kowtow to the ancestors. Before proceeding to the kowtow, the eldest of the family will speak to the ancestors, telling them which members of the family are present, and which of them are located elsewhere, asking for the ancestors to look after us for the coming year. We will kowtow for 4 times, everytime going down on both knees and the forehead actually hitting the floor (not really hitting with strength that is, a light touch will do). After the rituals, it will be our uniting dinner. In our case, we usually have it in the afternoon.
At night, before we sleep, we will be given 'ya1 sui4 qian2' (red packets where the money is meant to avoid us from gaining another year in age). We are supposed to put the red packet under our pillow while we sleep. Traditionally, we have to stay awake until the new year has arrived. The reason behind this is another interesting story, which I would not elaborate further here.
The first thing to do in the CNY morning is to 'bai4 nian2' with our parents and relatives. Usually we say good words while greeting them, words such as 'gong1 xi3 fa1 cai2' (congratulations on getting wealthier), 'xin1 nian2 jin4 bu4' (improvements in the new year), 'wan4 shi1 ru2 yi4' (everything is happening to your heart/will) etc. In return we will be given red packets with a nominal value of money in it. These red packets we recieved after CNY is slightly different from the 'ya1 sui4 qian2', but I cannot really tell the difference though. As long as I get big red packets, I will be happy! Ha ha.
We will again be paying respects to our ancestors, the ritual will be as the same mentioned above. The only difference is in the offerrings. We will be offerring vegetarian-based food to our ancestors on new years day. On the 30th night, we offer them meat dishes. Lion dance is the next event to follow. According to legend, the lion dance is to drive/scare away the bad things in the house. Therefore, the 'lion' (usually played by two experienced lion-dancers) will go around the house, like a real lion exploring the place, following the beat of the drums played by the drummer. The lion will then 'cai3 qing1', grabbing a vegetable that was hanging at a high position with its mouth. This is an act in order to have prosperity to the household in the coming year.
After all these events, we will be waiting for relatives to come visit us, or we will be visiting relatives at their residencies. There are more stories on different days of the CNY, but our family celebrates only the 30th night and the 1st day of CNY. CNY is 15 days long, and the final day is the Chinese Valentines Day. If I ever have the time, I would try find out about what each and every day of the CNY means and share it with you all.
Until I blog again, Happy Chinese New Year to you all!
I have been absent from this blog for a while. Yes, I have been busy acclimatising to the new working environment. I have also been busy settling down in my temporary place of residence. It is never easy staying with relatives, not to mention that you are not paying any rent for the limited space (both physically and psycologically speaking) to live in. Hopefully I will get an affordable (read:cheap) place to move in soon. Must start talk to God more often, I have not been praying since returning.
Back to the main topic. Chinese New Year.
Our family has a traditional way of celebrating CNY, so have other traditional Chinese family. I would like to record the rituals of our celebration from the 30th night (the last day of the lunar calendar year) to the first day of the new year.
The 30th night is usually a celebration of the harvest of the past year, therefore members of the family shall return to their family home to have dinner. Sitting around the family dining table, members of the family share the food (usually cooked by the mother), jokes and experiences gained over the year in a warm and celebrative mood. In our family, we have to pay respect to our ancestors before having the 'tuan2 yuan2 fan4' (which means uniting dinner).
The ritual starts with tidying and cleaning the altar where the ancestors spiritually resides. On the altar, there will be a piece of nice wooden block with the generations and names of our ancestors carefully printed on it. After lighting the two red candles, we began to burn the incense. Usually there will be three big incense followed by smaller ones. Each of the family member will hold three of the smaller incense while three of the eldest will each hold one big incense. Also, before the ritual starts, we have to lay out a variety of food in front of the altar. Our food to the ancestors include a whole chicken (including the head), a piece of roasted pork, vegetables, fruits, CNY biscuits and snacks. There are three small cups for tea, five bigger cups for white liquor, with five pairs of chopsticks laid in front of our ancestors (we are paying respect to five ancestors). Once the dust of the incense begin to drop, which we consider a nod of acknowledgement from our ancestors, we will burn them some paper money, paper gold and other stuffs. Our ancestors will get to receive these items by burning them. Obviously we are not going to burn them the REAL thing! After the giving and receiving of items are completed (when those paper-based items are burnt to ashes), we will have to kowtow to the ancestors. Before proceeding to the kowtow, the eldest of the family will speak to the ancestors, telling them which members of the family are present, and which of them are located elsewhere, asking for the ancestors to look after us for the coming year. We will kowtow for 4 times, everytime going down on both knees and the forehead actually hitting the floor (not really hitting with strength that is, a light touch will do). After the rituals, it will be our uniting dinner. In our case, we usually have it in the afternoon.
At night, before we sleep, we will be given 'ya1 sui4 qian2' (red packets where the money is meant to avoid us from gaining another year in age). We are supposed to put the red packet under our pillow while we sleep. Traditionally, we have to stay awake until the new year has arrived. The reason behind this is another interesting story, which I would not elaborate further here.
The first thing to do in the CNY morning is to 'bai4 nian2' with our parents and relatives. Usually we say good words while greeting them, words such as 'gong1 xi3 fa1 cai2' (congratulations on getting wealthier), 'xin1 nian2 jin4 bu4' (improvements in the new year), 'wan4 shi1 ru2 yi4' (everything is happening to your heart/will) etc. In return we will be given red packets with a nominal value of money in it. These red packets we recieved after CNY is slightly different from the 'ya1 sui4 qian2', but I cannot really tell the difference though. As long as I get big red packets, I will be happy! Ha ha.
We will again be paying respects to our ancestors, the ritual will be as the same mentioned above. The only difference is in the offerrings. We will be offerring vegetarian-based food to our ancestors on new years day. On the 30th night, we offer them meat dishes. Lion dance is the next event to follow. According to legend, the lion dance is to drive/scare away the bad things in the house. Therefore, the 'lion' (usually played by two experienced lion-dancers) will go around the house, like a real lion exploring the place, following the beat of the drums played by the drummer. The lion will then 'cai3 qing1', grabbing a vegetable that was hanging at a high position with its mouth. This is an act in order to have prosperity to the household in the coming year.
After all these events, we will be waiting for relatives to come visit us, or we will be visiting relatives at their residencies. There are more stories on different days of the CNY, but our family celebrates only the 30th night and the 1st day of CNY. CNY is 15 days long, and the final day is the Chinese Valentines Day. If I ever have the time, I would try find out about what each and every day of the CNY means and share it with you all.
Until I blog again, Happy Chinese New Year to you all!
Friday, January 14, 2005
Life and Death
It is with a heavy heart that I wrote this entry. A relative of mine has just passed away over the weekend. She gave birth to a baby and passed away due to overbleeding. The baby survived, but the mother did not. Everyone is feeling sad and the mood is pretty gloomy at the moment.
It has been a long time since any member of my extended family has left the world. The last time was when my mum's mum passed away. I was around six back then, and was not aware of the feelings of a close relative passing away. After so many years, I finally understand how people felt when such unfortunate event occurs. Furthermore, a life is lost while giving birth to another.
In my previous entry, it was the death of a lot of people that I was not directly related to that I am mourning. Now, it is a member of my extended family. I did not feel too much sorrow when the tsunami disaster happened, but now it is someone whom I can relate to, the emotion is different. I hope the baby will not be blamed when it grows up, and it will receive the care and concern of the dad and the family.
Once again, I would like all of us to understand that life is quite fragile. There is little gap between life and death, if any. So please cherish those around you and grab the opportunity to tell those you love how you felt about them. They may be your mum, your dad, your siblings, your friends, or someone you have feelings for. Tell them you love them, and perhaps give them a full-hearted hug, or else you will regret if you never get to do it when they are still around.
To those reading this blog, thank you for coming and thank you for reading this. I appreciate your friendship and your support and I love you all. *HUGZ*
It has been a long time since any member of my extended family has left the world. The last time was when my mum's mum passed away. I was around six back then, and was not aware of the feelings of a close relative passing away. After so many years, I finally understand how people felt when such unfortunate event occurs. Furthermore, a life is lost while giving birth to another.
In my previous entry, it was the death of a lot of people that I was not directly related to that I am mourning. Now, it is a member of my extended family. I did not feel too much sorrow when the tsunami disaster happened, but now it is someone whom I can relate to, the emotion is different. I hope the baby will not be blamed when it grows up, and it will receive the care and concern of the dad and the family.
Once again, I would like all of us to understand that life is quite fragile. There is little gap between life and death, if any. So please cherish those around you and grab the opportunity to tell those you love how you felt about them. They may be your mum, your dad, your siblings, your friends, or someone you have feelings for. Tell them you love them, and perhaps give them a full-hearted hug, or else you will regret if you never get to do it when they are still around.
To those reading this blog, thank you for coming and thank you for reading this. I appreciate your friendship and your support and I love you all. *HUGZ*
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