Where's the Love?

I have lost touch with the feeling. That feeling. The feeling of Love.

When I see my other half, I no longer feel my heart beating faster. Nor I can feel my palm sweating. Nor breathing heavier. The magic of love just disappeared. Do I, or do I not, love her? Tough one for me to answer. I felt that I have lost the ability to love.

Looking back at those days and those heartbreaking moments that she had to endure, did she not suffer enough to show her love for me? Should I love her back more than the pain that she had to suffer because she loved me too much? Do I have to love her back just because of the responbility that I bear, or do I love her just because I really do? I seriously do not know.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is that true? Why do I not feel that way? Why do I feel that she does not miss me? And if she does, why is she not showing? Is it because I love her that I am feeling anxious? Or is it because of my pride that I do no want to lose her? Why would I get unhappy when not getting any messages or phone calls from her? Why did I not call her or message her instead? Are we both moving towards opposite ends?

I have decided that she will be the ONE. The ONE I want to marry, the ONE to bear my children and the ONE to be my companion for the rest of my life. The decision is not based purely on love. Other considerations have been taken into account to reach the conclusion. Yes, Love plays a role in the decision too. But not the most important one. Come to think of it, am I the ONE for her?

Is it true that we do not usually get to be with the one we love most? Maybe, maybe not. Some people spend their whole life looking for the one they love the most, yet they have passed by a lot of chances that might eventually blossom into a colourful relationship. In the end, they might prefer being alone, or be with someone not of their choice. And they tend to say that everything is fated.

Some decided to settle down with one that meets most of their criteria, even though their characteristics might not match nor compatible. They will try hard to work things around and compromise on the relationship. Usually this will work if both parties are agreeable and have a high level of tolerance. But where is the love? Hardly existing, is it not? Perhaps as the times go by they will slowly develop feelings for each other, but never the sparkling feelings like couples who fall deeply in love.

Anyway, there will hardly be a perfect ending to a relationship. Do not even bother dreaming of a happily ever after fairy tale. After all, those are just fairy tales. In real life, think of the term 'trade-offs', and we are almost there.